You Have to Trust Me (Part 2)

You Have to Trust Me (Part 2)

Justin opened the door to his dressing room and let Selena in first. He contemplated leading her in by putting his hand on her lower back, like he was so accustomed to doing, but he decided against it. She hadn’t reacted well to his warm embrace, so he thought he would keep it professional until she said otherwise. But when he stepped into the room and got to look at her from head-to-toe in person for the first time in over three months, he realized that “keeping it professional” is easier said than done.

Selena took a seat on the couch in the corner of the room. She seemed self-conscious, uncomfortable. At first Justin thought this was just because of the awkwardness of the situation, which it partly was.

But then he remembered. They had had sex on this couch. Portland was it? He couldn’t remember which city. But she had been with him in the beginning of his tour, and they had certainly made themselves very comfortable on that couch.

Selena must have seen his smirk because she returned a smirk back to him.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Justin asked playfully as he made his way over to the couch. Selena responded by blushing and looking down at her hands in her lap. He made sure to sit a comfortable distance away from her. Keep it professional, he thought to himself. It was as if they were back to their first stages of dating. Neither of them knew the appropriate way to act.

“So,” he began. She said she wanted to talk. This was him talking.

“So,” she responded.

He raised his eyebrows at her expecting her to go on, but she just sat there. “I’m not sure what you want me to say…you called me…so I mean, I don’t know.” Justin shifted positions. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so nervous around her. “I think I’ve made my feelings toward the situation pretty clear. I think what we need to know to get any further in this conversation are yours.”

“My feelings?” She asked quietly.

“Yes,” Justin said smiling, “your feelings.” He didn’t know if she was trying, but she was being so fucking adorable. It took all of his self-control to not lurch forward, pin her onto that couch and pick up where they had left off.

Selena took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. She was silently freaking out. Almost every time she had needed to talk to Justin about something, she had consulted at least one of her girl friends or her mom first. She always needed advice, she always needed someone else’s opinion, just to make sure she wasn’t being stupid. But this trip was all her idea. She hadn’t told anyone about it because she knew they would all tell her not to do it. And now she was left to voice her feelings completely and totally alone.

“Well…” She looked up from her lap and into Justin’s eyes. Fuck. Any fraction of a thought that she had just formed in the past few seconds vanished from her brain. His eyes. I forgot about his eyes.

“Well?” Justin urged her on.

“Sorry, I’m not…I don’t know Justin. This is so weird.”

“This is weird,” he agreed. “But it doesn’t have to be weird. I’m only acting this way because I think it’s what you want. If you want to just go back to the way things were –“

“No we need to talk,” Selena interrupted. She collected herself and prepared to speak. She had thought enough about this in the past 24 hours, she should be able to put it into words.

“I miss you. So much. And I know you miss me too and that’s not the problem. The problem is…” Selena looked down again and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “the problem is that I’m scared. I miss you and I love you but there’s a reason we broke up, Justin. There’s a reason that it got to a point where loving you wasn’t enough. It wasn’t working. So what makes you think that this time it will work? I mean maybe it will work for a little while, maybe even two years, like it did before. But how do you know it’s not gonna happen again?”

“I don’t.”

This time she was the one waiting for him to go on. But he didn’t.

Well she was expecting a little more than that. He had made it so clear multiple times that he wanted to get back together, she thought that he would fight a little harder.

“Justin I can’t put myself through that again. I’ve never been so hurt in my life.”

“I know, trust me I know. It hurt so much.” Justin scooted just a little closer to her, trying to keep it professional but trying to remind her of what they used to be. “But there’s never any guarantee. You don’t go into a relationship knowing for sure that it’ll last forever. Even people that get married can’t know that. Do you know how many couples get divorced Sel? I mean shit, our parents are the best examples. But that’s what love is, babe.”

She was going to interject and tell him not to call her “babe” but she decided to see where he was going with this.

He scooted even closer. Without taking his eyes off of hers, he slowly and carefully took one of her hands out of her lap and gently held it in both of his own.

“Selena, I love you and I always will love you. You know that. I know, I know, but what if that’s not enough, what if our lives change, what if our needs change. You can’t live life based on all the ‘what ifs’. And of all people, we can’t live our lives that way. We have so much shit that happens to us every day. More shit happens to us in a day than happens to an average person in their whole lifetime. We travel the world, we change people’s lives.” He paused to take a breath. He was getting worked up now, trying to convey all of the thoughts he had had in these past few months to her in just a few minutes.

“Sel, if you spend all your time worrying about where this relationship is going in the future, you’ll never get to enjoy what this relationship could be right now.” He paused and really looked at her, trying to see if she was truly understanding. “Can you do it Sel? Can we please do it? Can we enjoy what this relationship could be?”

Selena pressed her lips together as her throat stiffened. She tried to hold it back, but her eyes were overflowing. “I’m scared Justin,” she said so soft, almost in a whisper.

The sound of her voice so pained like that absolutely killed Justin. It sounded almost exactly like the voice he had heard when they had ended this relationship just a few months ago. He had hurt her so much. And she in turn, had hurt him.

“I’m scared too.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “We’re just gonna have to trust each other on this one. Because in all honesty, I’m not letting you leave this room until you are officially my girlfriend again. I’m not letting you get away this time.”

Selena let out a small laugh, but the creasing of her eyes made the tears flow out even faster. “Is that a threat?”

“Maybe…” He motioned to wipe her tears away with his thumb, but she leaned away.

“I don’t know,” she said. Because she didn’t. And she never would. Justin was right. She would never be sure of this relationship. She would never know for certain if it would last or if it would hurt her even more than the last time. But what she did know for certain is that right now, she was absolutely miserable. Despite what she was required to say in every single interview, she was not enjoying the single life. She didn’t want anyone else. She wanted Justin.

“Selena,” Justin said quietly, “you can trust me.”

She looked at him for a long time, so long that it became comical. They both started to smile.

“Okay, I trust you,” she said.

At that moment, those were the four most beautiful words Justin had ever heard in his entire life. “You do?”

“This is the moment when you decide to have low self esteem? Yes you dork, I trust you! I trust you! I love you! Come here!”

Before she even finished speaking he was on top of her, wrestling her into the couch cushions, tickling and kissing her everywhere. Their laughs were loud and full, echoing so loud in his dressing room that Selena was sure that they could be heard by everyone in the building.

After a few minutes, they were left tangled in each other, panting and exhausted. Selena stroked his sweaty hair out of his eyes and kissed him on the nose. “I love you,” she said to him.

He put his hands on either side of her face and kissed her on the mouth, passionately and completely. They hadn’t kissed like this in months, but Selena knew it was different. He was kissing her with everything he had from these past few miserable months. When the kiss was finally done, they were both left dizzy and hazy-eyed, staring at each other for what felt like an eternity. “I love you too.”

You Have to Trust Me (Part 1)

You Have to Trust Me (Part 1)

Selena was being pulled by Kenny from the front and pushed by Scooter from behind through the obnoxiously narrow tunnels under Justin’s elaborate stage. They passed dressing rooms and prop rooms and rooms full of costumes and makeup. She felt like a mouse running through a maze. Their journey seemed winding and never-ending and it gave Selena a split second to think.

“Kenny, are you sure no one saw me on the way in?” She tried to speak to Kenny who was just centimeters away from her but he had no idea that she was even speaking. The combined screams of 60,000 girls singing the words to “Baby” were making the temporary walls literally vibrate back and forth. Selena had become immune to this sound over time, but she hadn’t heard it in a while. And it was loud.

She tried to turn around to talk to Scooter, but he responded by pushing her even harder. “We don’t have time,” he yelled into her ear, “it’s the last song. You need to be there when he finishes.”

Selena’s flight had been slightly delayed due to the fact that the paparazzi had found out about her spur-of-the-moment decision. She wondered how in the world photographers could figure out where she was going before she even knew herself. So in an effort to conceal her spontaneous visit to her ex-boyfriend, she had landed in Norway an hour late. The only problem with this decision was that she barely made it in time for the end of the show.

Finally, after scurrying through the tight maze for what felt like an hour, they made it to the open space under the stage where Justin would drop down into in just a few minutes. Selena finally got a chance to see Scooter face-to-face.

“I missed you guys so much!” Selena said to the group. She went to Scooter first, giving him a huge hug and kiss on the cheek. She went around to Allison, Ryan, and the other important members of his team that waited for him to come offstage every night.

She saved Fredo for last.

“Baby girl!!!” He yelled over the crowd’s screams. Selena giggled loudly as Fredo picked her up and swung her around as much as the close quarters would allow. “I missed my favorite lady friend!”

“I missed you too Fredo!” Selena landed safely on the ground and kissed him on the cheek as well.

“Jeez, I can only imagine what kind of hello the kid is gonna get,” Scooter said to no one in particular. Selena heard it, but she was too nervous to think about it.

By the time she was done with her hello’s, Justin was done singing. The music was still playing and she imagined he and his dancers were taking their final bows. And then he would thank the crowd…

“Thank you Norway! Good night!” His voice boomed through the arena and elicited even louder screams, if that was even possible.

Selena’s heart started beating loudly in her chest, in her ears, in her head. In just a few seconds…

And suddenly his body was inches from hers. He had literally dropped from the sky. She was frozen in place, her hands awkwardly in the air as if she were surrendering to someone, not knowing whether to hug him first or say something first or…

She was so worked up about being so close to him that she hadn’t realized that his back was to her.

He had no idea she was there.

“Awesome show kid,” Scooter came over and gave him a hug. The rest of the team proceeded to congratulate him on another great show, hugging him and kissing him.

Selena stood there in shock. Was he not going to turn around? Of course, if this had happened at any point in their relationship she would have tapped him on the shoulder the second he landed in front of her facing the wrong way. But their situation right now was so confusing that she had no idea how to act.

Just as Justin was about to make his way back through the tunnels with the rest of the crew, Scooter whispered something in his ear. He looked right at Selena over Justin’s shoulder as he said it and gave her a sly smile as he walked away.

She was shaking now. She watched Justin clench his fists together for a second and then spread his fingers apart. He took a deep breath and turned around.

Their eyes met and immediately, as if it were a reflex, both of their faces were split in half by smiles. He took two huge steps towards her and before she knew what was happening, she was in his arms. God, had she missed this. She had spent so much time trying to forget him that she actually had forgotten what he felt like.

He felt like home.

“I missed you so much,” he whispered into her neck. And suddenly, it was as if nothing had changed. It was as if she was on her day off, which she was, and she came to visit him on tour, which she had.

Except that everything had changed. She wasn’t his girlfriend anymore. She quickly snapped back to reality and took him by his shoulders to push him away. She looked into his eyes. There were tears.

“We need to talk.” 

AHHHHH MY BABIES ARE BACK ON!!!!

Words cannot explain how excited I am about this. This better not be a publicity stunt or us reading too much into things IT MUST BE TRUE. JELENA IS FOREVER.

Expect a one shot about this very very soon, I won’t be able to contain my excitement for long!

Words That Hurt

Words That Hurt

“Ow, ow, mamacita you look hot!” Selena’s stylist was loudly admiring her work. Selena laughed as she did a quick spin in her dressing room for the David Letterman show.

“Babe, only you can work this. Look at this,” her stylist took Selena’s long ponytail in her hands, “this is magic. This is stunning.”

Just as Selena was about to thank her for all the compliments, a woman with a headset came in without knocking and warned Selena she was on in five minutes.

“Thank you so much, can you just give me a second to make a phone call?” The stylist gladly obeyed and Selena was left alone with her iPhone. She had promised Taylor that she would call her before she went on for the taping of the show. She had made so many other incredibly close friends after making Spring Breakers and touring the world with all of them, but Taylor was still the one she went to when it came to public appearances. Taylor was the one who had truly been through it all.

“Hey.” Taylor’s bubbly voice was loud against Selena’s ear.

“Hey, I’m going on in five minutes, I just wanted to call you.”

“What, are you nervous or something?” Taylor teased.

“No, of course not.” But Selena knew that her friend could sense something in her voice.

“He’s asking you about Justin, isn’t he.”

“Yeah.” Selena knew Taylor would guess what was bugging her. All these talk shows were the same. “But don’t freak out. I got it under control.” Selena walked over to the full-length mirror to look at herself. She did look hot. Ever since her breakup, she had encouraged her stylist to basically do whatever the hell she wanted to make Selena look her best. She wanted Justin to feel like shit for treating her like shit. And from what she had heard in the news, it was working.

“I know you got it under control Sel, just show how fierce you are. Play it off like it’s nothing, because it is nothing. He’s nothing.”

No matter how many times her girlfriends reassured her that Justin meant nothing to her, Selena knew that this would never be the case. Sure, she could say that she’s over him, but there would always be a place in her heart that he had carved. It was times like these that she had to act like he was nothing. And she physically felt that permanent mark he had made on her.

“I know. I just wanted to hear your voice. I wanted to give myself a little boost.” Selena laughed. She knew she sounded ridiculous but she could say whatever she wanted to Taylor.

“Well this is your boost. You’re hot. He’s not. Go diss him on national television, ok?”

Taylor said it so nonchalantly, as if Justin was a fictional character, a villain, that Selena was required to talk about for her job. Over these past few months, he had become the villain in her life. Everyone she talked to automatically was on her side, telling her that he was the asshole and she was the princess. She hadn’t doubted anyone because this is what she wanted to hear. She couldn’t bear to hear anything else. And now it was all going to be confirmed. On national television.

“Don’t worry, I will.” Selena’s voice was unchanged as she responded quickly to Taylor’s comment. “I have to go now, I’ll talk to later. Love you, girlie.”

“Love you too!”

Selena hung up the phone and took a deep breath, still looking at herself in the mirror. She had ruined his life. And she was going to diss him on national television for it.

But really, what everyone didn’t understand was that he had ruined hers too. 

*************************************************************************

Justin was lounging on his private jet with Alfredo and Scooter. His whole family had come to Europe to be with him on his Believe tour, but they had to leave today. Now, Fredo was the only friend Justin had to talk to. And show ridiculous YouTube videos to.

“Dude, have you seen this video of the giraffes fighting with their necks? It’s fucking hilarious come over here.”

Fredo looked up from his laptop and rolled his eyes, but got up to honor Justin’s request nonetheless. The stunts that the media was pulling lately had really taken a toll on Justin’s wellbeing. He had to cancel concerts, he was considering drugs, and he had practically begged his parents to take his little siblings out of school and fly them out to wherever he was. He was losing it and Fredo had to humor him to keep him sane.

Once Fredo came over to the couch and sat next to him, Justin played the video. He couldn’t stop laughing. “How hilarious is that? They’re giraffes. Fighting.” Justin looked up at his friend who clearly was not finding this that amusing. “Dude, how are you not cracking up right now?”

“Sorry man, it’s funny, I’m sorry.” Fredo took his phone out of his pocket and opened Twitter. He casually scrolled through his dash and then opened the trending topics. The small smile on his mouth turned into a hard line when he saw Selena’s name, and even more when he clicked on it.

Justin was still hysterically laughing from the video, tears running down his cheeks from laughing so hard, when he looked up at Fredo who had frozen in his seat. Fredo knew that Justin was affected by all the media, but that was just part of the job. It wasn’t like he could do anything about it. But Selena was a different story. She was a whole other world entirely. Justin hadn’t talked about it in a while, but Fredo and everyone close to Justin knew that she was exactly the reason that he had been acting so crazy lately.

“Whatchya lookin’ at bro?” Justin quickly moved his body so he could see Fredo’s phone. Fredo jumped off the couch and walked to the other side of the jet.

“Nothing, nothing. My mom keeps emailing me.”

Justin suspiciously picked up his phone and opened Twitter to see for himself. “Your mom keeps emailing you? You were just on Twitter dude. I’m not blind.”

Fredo looked up from his own phone and watched as Justin slowly discovered what he was hoping he wouldn’t find. It was pretty normal for Selena’s name to be trending on Twitter, but Justin knew that Fredo had found something further. He wouldn’t be acting this way if he hadn’t found something more.

Once Fredo assumed Justin had found the video, he came over to the couch and sat next to him. He was shaking. “Press play,” Fredo urged.

Justin looked at him. His eyes were already red. With stuff like this, Justin always hid how he really felt. He was an eighteen-year-old guy and there was no way that he was showing his emotions, especially when he was the Justin Bieber.

But this jet only had Fredo. And on the small screen of his phone, Selena’s frozen face looked so beautiful. And it killed him to know that there was going to be something bad about himself coming out of her mouth.

They watched the one-minute video together in silence. When it was over, they were both left with their jaws dropped wide open. Neither of them knew what to say.

“Bitch,” Justin muttered under his breath as he dropped his phone to the ground. He got up from his seat and immediately walked over to the other side of the plane, a private room with a bed, and slammed the door.

Once he was inside, he realized he regretted his decision. He knew there was a reason he hadn’t been in this room in so long. He and Selena used to have sex in here. High in the sky, in the middle of the night, when everyone else was sleeping and they were both exhausted but wanted to stay up with each other for as long as possible, they would sneak into this room and make love. Those were some of the most beautiful nights of Justin’s life. And now, in his haste to get away from the video, he had come back to this place, which was even worse than Selena telling the whole world that she had made him cry.

In reality, it wasn’t that bad. He had ended a two-year relationship, it was kind of obvious that he would have cried. But the fact that she dissed him like that didn’t make it any better.

Justin slowly lowered himself onto the soft bed. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked around, trying to find a trace of her. He wished, for the millionth time, that he could just be with her for one more night. He just wanted to feel her skin against his own one last time. He knew that if she would just spend one more time with him in this room, he could get her back.

But it was all over. He knew that he was in the wrong just as much as she was. She just had better friends than he did. Guys don’t talk about their feelings, especially the guys that Justin was friends with. Fredo was basically his best friend, and Justin knew that once he walked out of this room, Fredo would pretend this whole thing never happened. Selena was always the one that he could actually talk about his feelings with.

Justin lay down in the bed that he once shared with her and closed his eyes. He decided he would spend the rest of the flight here, by himself, with his own thoughts for a change. Not one piece of technology except for his own brain. He swore he could still smell her on these sheets.

No matter how much Selena hurt him with that remark, Justin still couldn’t get her smile out of his head. It was glued to the backs of his eyelids. He loved when she smiled and laughed like that. He was addicted to the sound of it. And at this point, he didn’t care that he wasn’t the cause of her laughter. All her cared about was that she was happy.

Heeeeey everyone.

So I’ve literally disappeared for over a month and I’m SO SORRY. I’ve been so incredibly depressed about all this Jelena drama, no joke. And I thought I was just going to be done with writing one-shots because I was too mature and all that shit. 

But now this video of Selena on Letterman is changing my mind. I feel like I NEED to write about it. If I still have any loyal followers left (hopefully I do, I love you all) I hope you’re still with me and maybe can give me some suggestions!

I’m going to try to get a story up by either tonight or tomorrow night! 

Nothing Like Us (Part 3)

Nothing Like Us (Part 3)

             Justin woke up to a loud banging on his door and his phone vibrating next to his ear. The two aggressive sounds made him let out a long, obnoxious groan. He stretched his body as long as it would go and was startled by the disgusting sound that came out of his mouth.

            “Shut uuuup,” he whined as he pressed his pillow over his head.

            “Justin open the fucking door you were supposed to be at sound check an hour ago!” Scooter’s voice sounded frustrated and tired, but mostly just mad. When Justin didn’t answer, Scooter continued. “Goddammit Justin, get out of bed! I lost the key to your room. If you’re not out here within the next five minutes I’m breaking down the door.” More silence. “OUT. OF. BED. NOW.”

            Justin took the pillow off his head. Jesus. He slept late all the time. He was a teenager who needed sleep and never had time for it while touring the world. Scooter never got this mad. Justin jumped out of bed and threw on a t-shirt and jeans. He opened the door to find Scooter on the phone. Justin made a signal to let him know what was going on.

            “I have to go, I’ll call you back later.” Scooter ended the call and looked seriously at Justin. “The song was leaked.” And without any further explanation, he turned on his heel and started storming down the hallway towards the elevator.

            Justin was left standing there alone in shock. “Wait. What?” When he realized Scooter wasn’t waiting for him, he ran to catch up. “What song?”

            “You know what song.” The elevator doors opened and Scooter stepped inside. Justin was so stunned he almost forgot to move and had to squeeze through the doors.

            A million things rushed through Justin’s head as the elevator slowly descended. He knew the world would be hearing it soon, but he didn’t know it would be today. But of course, there was really only one thing on his mind.

            “Do you think she heard it?” Justin asked Scooter, whose eyes were glued to his iPhone.

            Scooter gave him an exaggerated eye roll. “I don’t give shit if she heard it, Justin. This album is being released worldwide. I’m more concerned with-“

            “Can you please just stop talking as my manager for one second and hear me out?” Scooter took his eyes off of his phone and saw that Justin was truly in pain. He was having doubts. Now that the song was released, he was having doubts. And he hadn’t even checked Twitter yet.

            “Do you think she heard it,” Justin repeated the question.

            “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask her?”

            The answer seemed so obvious and yet he knew it was so much more complicated. As an instinct, he looked down at his phone which he hadn’t checked since he was rudely forced out of bed this morning. He scrolled through the notifications on his lock screen. His heart stopped when he saw one missed call. Selena Gomez.

            The elevator reached the lobby and the doors opened. Once again, Scooter rushed out on his way and Justin was frozen. He stood there staring at his phone for so long that another group of guests at the hotel got into the elevator and pressed the buttons corresponding to their floors. Before Justin knew it, or could do anything about it, the elevator doors were closing again.

            Justin could hear Scooter screaming his name from below but it was too late. He was already going back up. He considered pressing his floor number but he figured that would be exactly where Scooter was heading. He needed to go somewhere no one would find him. So, the first floor that the elevator stopped at, he casually walked out, pretending to look for his room. When the other guests had dispersed, he snuck into one of the maid’s closets and quickly clicked Selena’s number.

            It rang so many times that he figured she was ignoring him. But just when he was ready for the machine to pick up, he heard her voice.

            “Hello?” She sounded weak and confused. He cringed at the sound of it. Everything was wrong with her voice. There was only one explanation.

            “Hey babe, I-“

            “Don’t.” Now she was stern, serious. He could picture her eyebrows furrowing and her finger pointing into the air, imaging he was standing in front of her.

            “Don’t what?”

            “Don’t you dare call me babe right now.”

            “Selena…” Justin sighed, trying to hold his shit together. This had all come on so fast. He hadn’t prepared himself to be having the conversation this early.

            “You know what you did Justin. You know it was wrong. I don’t know why you did it, but you sure as hell can’t take it back now. I don’t know who you think you are trying to get in your side of the story before I even have a chance to recover. It’s been, what, 3 weeks? You think that’s long enough to get over a 2 year relationship and release a fucking song about it?”

            Justin knew that Selena only curses in one of two situations. Either when she’s really drunk or really mad. It could be both, but Justin was banking on the second one. Just a guess.

            “Ok, I know, but-“

            “And who do you think you are calling me right now? Did you think you could get to me before I had a chance to hear it? Well you’re wrong, Justin. I can’t even believe I’m talking to you right now. Just-“

            “Wait, wait, wait!” Justin stood up straight from his slouched position against the wall. He changed positions too fast in the tiny closet and slammed his head on the wall. “Please do not hang up on me. Please.”

He could hear her take a deep breath. She was contemplating. But he was 99% sure that he still had the power to keep her on the phone. She may be mad, but she said herself, she hadn’t recovered.

            “What could you possibly have to say to me right now?” Selena was back on her kitchen floor, leaning her head against the cold refrigerator in an attempt to stop her body from profusely sweating. She sweats when she’s mad. And swears. Both of which Justin knew very well. Whoever was at the door when Justin had called had given up on knocking. It was probably her mom or some friend she didn’t care about.

             He had called her just a few minutes after she saw the missed call from him. It hadn’t given her enough time to think. She thought she could handle it, but she really couldn’t. Which was exactly why she was splayed out on her kitchen floor, dripping sweat, and mentally hitting herself for picking up the phone. Because really, what could he possibly have to say?

             “Ok honestly, I don’t know. And before you say that’s bullshit, listen. I didn’t know you were gonna hear it this early. That’s why I called you last night and hung up.” Selena started piecing the puzzle together. That explains her missed call from him. “I was planning on preparing something or doing something to warn you but I never got the chance.” Selena rolled her eyes and let out a scoff. He heard it, but kept going. “I really don’t know what to say except I’m sorry. And I know you may not believe that, but I am. I didn’t truly think it through before putting it on the album. It’s extremely personal and I know you don’t like people knowing about our life.”

            “My life,” Selena corrected. When Justin didn’t respond, Selena assumed he didn’t understand. “I don’t like people knowing about my life. It’s not automatically linked to yours.”

           “Right, sorry.” This was not going as Justin had planned. He didn’t know why, but a sense of relief had washed over him when he had seen that she called him. He thought that she was calling to apologize or tell him how good the song was or maybe even that she wanted to see him. But she called him because she was mad. When they were dating, he could always make it up to her when she was mad at him. He sent her meaningful gifts or pulled her in for a kiss or wrote her a song. Now, it seemed that all of that had gone completely out the window. He was at a loss for words.

          “Well I don’t know what to say to you either, Justin. I think I’ve said it all. I’m done.”

          “Wait, babe,” he was pleading now. He should have known how much this song would get to her and it wasn’t worth the publicity and the sympathy from the fans. He regretted ever even writing it, let alone putting it out to the world.

           “I told you Justin, I’m not your fucking babe anymore. You made that clear.” Selena knew now was the time to hang up and leave him helpless and begging for forgiveness. But in her attempt to sound tough, her voice caught on the last sentence. She was weak. She wasn’t fooling anyone. Especially Justin.

           “I’m sorry,” said Justin, because it was the only thing left to say.

           “Well so am I.” Selena forced herself to take the phone away from her ear and end the call. The tears were coming again. Did they ever stop? Would this ever stop? She had thought breaking up with him would end the pain and the frustration that came along with dating him. But this felt worse. Much, much, much worse.

Part 3 is coming!!! Hopefully tonight! Sorry this has taken so long guys, I’ve been busy. But I see all of your messages, thank you all so much for the support and loooove. You all are too kind :)

Wow thank you all so much! I guess Part 3 is coming due to popular demand. I should probably start thinking.

Nothing Like Us (Part 2)

Nothing Like Us (Part 2)

As promised, this is Selena’s side of the story. Let me know if you guys want a part 3…

            “Ok guys, I have to get going,” Selena said looking at her phone. She had been in the studio for almost twelve straight hours and hadn’t had any communication with the outside world. She loved being in here, making music, feeling whatever she wanted to feel without being influenced by anyone else. The people she was working with on this album really understood her and made her music better.

            “Alright Sel, awesome job today babe,” said John, the engineer on the sound board, “we’re really close to finishing this thing.”

            Selena smiled and said goodbye to the rest of the crew before walking outside into the warm LA air. Once she was inside her car, she took some time to look at all of her missed calls and texts. Since she hadn’t checked it all day, she expected to have a lot, but not this many. All of her close friends had not only texted her, but called her multiple times, leaving voicemails saying to call back as soon as she could. She decided to call Taylor because she was the one who had called the most.

            “Selena Marie Gomez, where have you been?” Taylor exclaimed after picking up on the first ring. Wherever Taylor was, it was very noisy. Selena couldn’t remember if she was in her home in Nashville or LA or out of the country. She had been so busy with her album, she hadn’t talked to her best friend in so long.

            “Where are you?” Selena asked, completely ignoring the question.

            “Never mind where I am, where are you?” It sounded like Taylor had found a quiet place to talk because her voice was clearer now.

            “I was in the studio all day. You’re the one who told me to minimize all distractions remember?” Selena put her Bluetooth on and started to drive. She wanted to get home, cuddle up with Baylor, and get some well-deserved rest.

            “Ok whatever. I’m in Madrid for some Spanish award show I don’t remember the name right now.” Selena laughed. No matter how good Taylor was at songwriting, she was still a dumb blonde at heart. “No seriously, Selena. Have you heard the song?”

            “What song? Did you write a new song, Tay? You never showed me that one about Harry –“

            “Selena! No! Listen, I don’t have much time. Justin’s album was leaked.”

            “Oh.” Selena’s heart jumped into her throat. Just the mention of his name forced her to pull over to the side of the road. She had been making music about him all day, almost every day she was in the studio, but she had forgotten to consider that he was making music about her too. She took a deep breath. “Have you heard it?”

            “Yeah.” Selena waited for more but Taylor said nothing.

            “Well?”

            “I don’t really think I should say anything about it. I think you just have to listen to it yourself. I emailed it to you, it’s on YouTube, it’s everywhere.” Selena’s head was spinning. She could hear Taylor’s words, but all she was thinking about was what Justin could have put in that song. So much had happened. She was writing about it too, but she hadn’t prepared herself for the world to know about it already.

            Selena was silent so Taylor continued. “I know you really want to listen to it, but I don’t think you should. I mean, I called you and everything because I had figured you already heard it, but if you haven’t already I don’t think it’s worth it. I think he’s put you through enough.”

            “What are you talking about?” Selena put the car in drive and started speeding home. Now that someone had told her she shouldn’t listen to it, she had officially made up her mind. She needed to hear it as soon as possible. “Of course I need to hear it. It’s about me. It’s about my personal life. I should be aware of what the world knows about my personal life, right?”

            “Um, right.” The background noise had returned. “Sel, I’m so sorry I have to go, but call me after you listen to it ok? It’s going to be hard, but I know you’re strong. Don’t let it change your mind about anything that’s happened.”

            “I won’t. Thanks. Bye.” Selena quickly ended the call so that she would have time to think before she pulled into her driveway and bolted into her house. She considered stopping the car again and just listening through her phone, but she did have some self-control.

            Before she knew what she was doing, Selena was at her kitchen table with her computer in front of her, staring at Justin’s face on the cover of his acoustic album. Her finger was on the mouse. She would click it, but her hand was shaking so violently that she couldn’t control her finger. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball on the kitchen floor and cry.

He had been such an asshole to her. He never called her back, he always picked his friends over her, he stopped making time to see her and assumed that she wouldn’t mind. But she knew that he blamed her. She knew that he was going to tell everyone that it was her fault. That’s what he had already told his friends. He thought she was the asshole for breaking up with him when he needed her the most. He kept trying but she pushed him away. But she only pushed him away because…

Shut up. Press play. Just fucking press play.

So she did. The second she clicked it, she quickly brought her knees up to her chest and pressed her lips together, telling herself to keep it together. She closed her eyes and listened.

When the song ended, so did she. She had kept her eyes closed the whole time, but that didn’t stop the tears from plunging down her face, coming faster than she knew was possible. When the music was completely gone, her house was completely silent.

She didn’t move her position for a while. She let it fully sink in that he was actually releasing a breakup song not even a month after they had broken up. She let it sink in that he had actually said, word for word, that she had pushed him away. She let it sink in that he had actually said, “we didn’t last.” She let the sound of his voice echo through her brain. He had never been so quiet and soft. Just the way he said the word “storm.” The way he claimed that he gave her all he had. The way he said that nothing could replace her. He had never sounded so hurt. Tell me was it worth it? We were so perfect…

“AARGGHHH!” Selena let out an earth-shattering scream, throwing her chair across the kitchen. “WHAT. THE. FUCK.” She banged on the walls and threw picture frames and threw more chairs and screamed some more. “WHAT THE FUCK JUSTIN WHAT THE FUCK!”

She didn’t know why she was mad. She was frustrated, and sad, and frankly, she was still in denial. She had broken up with him but in no way was she over him. How could he do this to her? How could he reveal this to the world without even giving her a chance to recover? How could he release a song telling his side of the story before she even had a chance to tell hers?

In all of her anger, without realizing what she was doing, she picked up her phone and clicked Justin’s number. Her eyes widened and she was brought back to reality when she heard the first ring. She immediately ended the call and threw her phone to the floor, probably breaking that too.

Selena let out one more scream and then collapsed onto the floor. She knew form experience that after all the anger and frustration comes the pain and heartbreak. She was only angry because she still loved him. She was only angry because she had hurt him so much. She was only angry because now, there was nothing she could do about it.

She thought about getting up and seeing if her iPhone had survived and maybe calling Taylor like she said she would. But now, just the thought of getting off the floor made her want to vomit. Her heavy eyelids slowly fell shut and before she knew it, Selena was asleep.

She awoke to a banging on her door and the bright sun shining right into her eyes through the curtains she hadn’t closed last night. She groaned as she pushed herself off the floor and squinted into the sunlight. As she stumbled toward the door, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and had to at least try to fix the disaster that was her hair. She tried to rub some of mascara off that had run down her face the night before, but it was no use. She continued walking toward the door, but was stopped when she accidently stepped on her phone.

It was face down and she held her breath as she picked it up, praying that she hadn’t cracked the screen. Phew. She was safe. The lock screen was filled with messages she didn’t care about so she slid to unlock.

Missed calls:

Taylor (5)

Benzo (2)

Vanessa (2)

Mom (4)

Priscilla (2)

Justin

Selena gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth and dropping her phone to the hardwood floor. If she hadn’t broken the screen before, she had definitely broken it now.

One missed call from Justin. What in the world did he have to say to her?

Nothing Like Us (Part 1)

Nothing Like Us (Part 1)

This is JUSTIN’S side of the story. Part 2 will be SELENA’S side. Trust me, I’m not one of those people that think Justin is a saint and Selena was the bitch that broke his heart. I promise, I’ll write what I believe (imagine/fantasize) is both sides of the story. Let me know what you think!

             Justin sat quietly in his seat with his head down as he and everyone in the room listened to the song for the millionth time. Not only was it painful for him to hear his voice sound like that singing those words over and over again, it was embarrassing. This was the most honest he had ever been in a song, and a few of the first people to hear it were a bunch of guys in suits that he didn’t even know. Scooter had called everyone from the label and everyone in Justin’s management into the studio once he had realized that Justin was serious about releasing it. He was clearly against the idea.

            “Justin, you realize this is going out to the whole world right?” Scooter asked after the song ended and Justin hit the button on the turntable to turn it off.

            Justin lifted his head and gave Scooter a dirty look. He was really being difficult about this. “I understand what the word worldwide means, Scoot. I’m not stupid.”

            “I’m not saying you’re stupid. I’m saying you’re being a little…” he looked around the room for the right word, “impulsive.”

            “Impulsive?” Justin was getting heated now. He had just spent the past three days in the studio pouring his heart into this song, bawling his eyes out between every session, and Scooter wasn’t having it. “What the fuck do you mean by impulsive, Scooter? I’ve been at this song for 72 fucking hours!”

            Scooter looked around at the uneasy men and immediately regretted his decision of bringing them here. If anything, he should have brought Justin to an office building or a more formal setting. In the studio, Justin had no choice but to be honest. And right now, it wasn’t working to his advantage.

            “Justin,” Scooter said calmly, “step outside with me, please.”

            Justin muttered something nasty under his breath but pushed himself out of his seat and followed Scooter out the door, slamming it loudly behind him.

            “What,” Justin grunted. His eyes were red and Scooter knew he had been crying. He knew how hard this was for him, or at least he knew about his own past heartbreaks. But he had never put it into music for the whole entire world to hear. Scooter understood Justin’s pain, but he couldn’t fathom why in the world he would want to make his private feelings so public.

            “You’re not being logical about this,” Scooter said in his business tone, the tone he always used when he had to talk to Justin about something serious. Usually he used this tone when talking about spending a lot of money on something or changing a tour date. This time, it was a matter of Justin’s own sanity. “When you’re going through a time like this, you don’t think straight.”

            He was going to continue but the look on Justin’s face stopped him. They were the only two in this long hallway. Scooter was standing erect with his hands crossed over his chest and Justin was barely keeping up his own body weight. He was slumped up against the wall with his hand pushed against it trying to hold himself up. His mouth was hanging open and his eyes were glazed over, staring at something at the end of the hallway. Scooter looked over his shoulder. Nothing was there.

            “You see her?” Scooter asked, uncrossing his arms and leaning against the wall next to Justin.

            Justin closed his mouth, licked his lips, and slowly nodded his head.

            So Scooter waited. He waited until Justin was brought back into reality to realize that his girlfriend, his ex-girlfriend, was not standing at the end of the hallway. She was on the other side of the country. It was painful to watch, but Justin eventually became aware of his real surroundings. His eyes focused on Scooter’s and he slowly closed his mouth and swallowed. Then, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again.

            “It’s my only way of talking to her,” Justin said after a long break of silence.

            Scooter nodded in understanding. “I know Justin. But think about it. Think. All of those crazy girls that wanted to kill her in the beginning? All of those girls that still want to kill her now? Every single girl who comes to your shows with tshirts and signs with your face on them? Think about how they’re going to react. Yes, Selena will probably hear it. But Justin, after everything that’s happened, maybe she won’t. Do you really want to go through all of the shit that’s going to come with it?”

            “They want answers,” Justin responded, referring to his fans.

            “So we’ll release a statement!” Scooter exclaimed in frustration, “I’ve been telling you for weeks we can easily release a –“

            “She doesn’t want to release a statement,” Justin interrupted calmly. “She won’t release a statement. She doesn’t want to make our private life public.” He recited it as if he had heard it a hundred times, which he felt like he had.

            “Well you’re sure as hell not listening to her if you release this song. This song is way more personal than a statement, Justin.”

            “I know,” he nodded. Scooter waited for Justin to continue, but he didn’t. He pushed himself off the wall and held his phone up to his face, attempting to fix his hopelessly messy hair. He started to walk down the hall.

            “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Scooter said as he jogged after him. “Where do you think you’re going?” Scooter put his hands on Justin’s shoulders and stood in front of him, not letting him escape like he had so many times these past few weeks. He had become so emotionally drained, that whenever he couldn’t handle socializing, he would just walk away. And Scooter had let it happen up until now because he didn’t know what to say to him. But he looked into this kid’s eyes, this kid that he had put his whole life into, and he knew there wasn’t much that could be communicated through words.

            So he didn’t use any words. He knew that Justin was getting the message that he wanted him to get just by looking at him.

            “Find a way to get the song on the album, Scooter. Just find a way.” And then he shrugged Scooter’s hand off of his shoulders and walked down the hallway and out of the studio.

           Scooter knew how much drama this song would cause. And he didn’t understand Justin’s reasoning at all. Maybe that was because he wasn’t thinking straight, or maybe that was because he just wasn’t in Justin’s situation. All he was sure of was that Justin’s opinion had never steered him wrong before. Whatever Justin wanted always became a success. The part of Scooter that was Justin’s manager was screaming at him to just take the song off the record. But the other part of Scooter, the one that had just seen Justin completely stripped down to his emotions and completely a wreck, knew that he had to do it. He had to let Justin do what felt right in his heart.